This is one of the most amazing technology i have come across in a very long long time… this thing is absolutely amazing and has the potential to change the way we see the world. I recommend everyone to go through the complete video and i am sure that you will not be disappointed!!!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Liu Bolin...The Invisible man...
This guy has some real talent… He just paints himself and becomes almost invisible in the surroundings… truly amazing paintings of himself… see it to believe it…
Classroom jokes: Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right..... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
____________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Court reporter Giggles
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year- old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
_______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________
-- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Best Divorce Letter!!!
Wife's Letter:
Dear hubby,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife
P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband's reply:
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem
Dear hubby,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife
P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband's reply:
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Embracing Imperfection
"When I was a little boy, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked burned toast . He wrapped me in his arms and said, champ, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired.. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket."
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked burned toast . He wrapped me in his arms and said, champ, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired.. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket."
Saturday, September 19, 2009
SACH KA SAAMNA
Rahul's Dad brought home a robot one day.
The robot had the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied
Rahul returned late from school.
Dad asked, “Son why are you late from school?”
“Dad, we had extra classes today”.
Robot slapped Rahul on his face.
Dad shouted, "Come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"
“Dad, I went to see the movie Ten Commandments.”
Robot slapped Rahul on his face.
Sorry dad, I went to see the movie "Chameli Ki Jawaani".
"Shame on you son, when I was your age, I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved."
Immediately, Dad gets a slap on the face from the robot.
Rahul's mom comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband, "After all, he's your son!"
Friday, September 18, 2009
Diwali explained by Indian born in Canada...
A young second generation Indian in the Canada was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...
“So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something.... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so..... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devil s and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...
So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home.... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also....so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., thatwas the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."
The mother fainted... ☺☺
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Britain's Got Talent - Aiden Davis
i have seen this video for God knows how many times but can't get enough of it. There is something which clicks with me each and every time i see it. Aiden's innocence, the music (it rocks), the rocking dance, the audience's reaction, the look on Simon's face when Aiden says yes that he choreographed the routine. Everything just clicks for me when i see this video and it makes my day.
Hope the visitors will also like it. Please drop in your comments if you do.
Hope the visitors will also like it. Please drop in your comments if you do.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Lawyer Jokes
1. A professor of Contract Law ask one of his student,
""If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?""
The student replied, ""Here is an orange.""
The professor was outraged. ""No! No! Think like a lawyer!""
Finally the professor replied, ""Okay, I tell you.
""I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, title, claim and advantages of and in, a fruit, popularly known as orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, notwithstanding anything contained herein before or hereinafter or in any other deed, deeds or instruments of whatever nature or kind to the contrary.""
***
2. A physician, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The surgeon announced, "Remember how God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve? Obviously, medicine is the oldest profession"
The engineer replied, "But before that, God created the heavens and the earth from chaos, in less than a week. You have to admit that was a remarkable feat of engineering, and that makes engineering an older profession than medicine"
The lawyer smirked, and said, "Who do you think created the chaos?"
***
3. A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
""How much does it cost for engineer brain?""
""Three dollars an ounce.""
""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""
""Four dollars an ounce.""
""How much for lawyer brain?""
""$1,000 an ounce.""
""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""
""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?""
***
4. A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, ""if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"" The lawyer answers, ""Absolutely.""
""Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.""
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
***
5. Said a lady to her friend, ""When we got our divorce we divided everything we had equally between us. Two children stayed with me, two went to my ex-husband.""
""What happened to the property?"" asked the friend.
""That was shared equally between his lawyer and mine.""
***
6. A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud ""THUMP"" and then he would swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, ""Where are you going, Father?"" ""I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road,"" replied the priest. ""No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."" The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud ""THUD"". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, ""I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."" ""That's okay"", replied the priest. ""I got him with the door!""
""If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?""
The student replied, ""Here is an orange.""
The professor was outraged. ""No! No! Think like a lawyer!""
Finally the professor replied, ""Okay, I tell you.
""I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, title, claim and advantages of and in, a fruit, popularly known as orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, notwithstanding anything contained herein before or hereinafter or in any other deed, deeds or instruments of whatever nature or kind to the contrary.""
***
2. A physician, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The surgeon announced, "Remember how God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve? Obviously, medicine is the oldest profession"
The engineer replied, "But before that, God created the heavens and the earth from chaos, in less than a week. You have to admit that was a remarkable feat of engineering, and that makes engineering an older profession than medicine"
The lawyer smirked, and said, "Who do you think created the chaos?"
***
3. A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
""How much does it cost for engineer brain?""
""Three dollars an ounce.""
""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""
""Four dollars an ounce.""
""How much for lawyer brain?""
""$1,000 an ounce.""
""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""
""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?""
***
4. A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, ""if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"" The lawyer answers, ""Absolutely.""
""Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.""
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
***
5. Said a lady to her friend, ""When we got our divorce we divided everything we had equally between us. Two children stayed with me, two went to my ex-husband.""
""What happened to the property?"" asked the friend.
""That was shared equally between his lawyer and mine.""
***
6. A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud ""THUMP"" and then he would swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, ""Where are you going, Father?"" ""I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road,"" replied the priest. ""No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."" The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud ""THUD"". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, ""I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."" ""That's okay"", replied the priest. ""I got him with the door!""
Famous Mallu/Malyalli Jokes on the internet
1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax
2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.
3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.
4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.
5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh, yet another Woh and Yen
8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto
11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask
12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.
13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.
14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shopes To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shope.
IngumDax
2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.
3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.
4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.
5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh, yet another Woh and Yen
8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto
11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask
12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.
13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.
14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shopes To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shope.
MAPI32.DLL is corrupt or the wrong version
Not very long ago i was put in a situation where i was forced to install windows office 2007 on my laptop. My laptop being few years old didn't seem to go very well with the office 2007 version and was rather sluggish in comparison with office 2003. So, i decided to remove office 2007 and get back to my tried and tested 2003 version on my laptop.
Everything went smoothly and the uninstaller associated with office 2007 did a seemingly good job to uninstall all the 2007 components. Atleast this was what i thought had happened. I only realized the problem once i installed office 2003 and was trying to run outlook. Outlook wouldn't open on my system and would give a message which read something like "Cannot start Microsoft Office Outlook. MAPI32.DLL is corrupt or the wrong version. This could have been caused by installing other messaging software. Please reinstall Outlook.". I thought what the hell is wrong with these office suites. They seem to do something or the other to my system.
Now my mission was to find the solution to this problem. Actually the solution was not that complicated and i found it in the first few results of google itself with the error message as the search text i.e. "Cannot start Microsoft Office Outlook. MAPI32.DLL is corrupt or the wrong version. This could have been caused by installing other messaging software. Please reinstall Outlook." One of the results was the link to the Microsoft support page, which provided the solution which was very easy to implement. For the convenience of my readers, i am providing the solution as provided on the support website as follows:
1. Start Windows Explorer.
2. Locate and then open the following folder on your computer: C:\Program Files\Common Files\System\Msmapi\1033
3. Right-click the MSMapi32.dll file, and then click Rename.
Everything went smoothly and the uninstaller associated with office 2007 did a seemingly good job to uninstall all the 2007 components. Atleast this was what i thought had happened. I only realized the problem once i installed office 2003 and was trying to run outlook. Outlook wouldn't open on my system and would give a message which read something like "Cannot start Microsoft Office Outlook. MAPI32.DLL is corrupt or the wrong version. This could have been caused by installing other messaging software. Please reinstall Outlook.". I thought what the hell is wrong with these office suites. They seem to do something or the other to my system.
Now my mission was to find the solution to this problem. Actually the solution was not that complicated and i found it in the first few results of google itself with the error message as the search text i.e. "Cannot start Microsoft Office Outlook. MAPI32.DLL is corrupt or the wrong version. This could have been caused by installing other messaging software. Please reinstall Outlook." One of the results was the link to the Microsoft support page, which provided the solution which was very easy to implement. For the convenience of my readers, i am providing the solution as provided on the support website as follows:
1. Start Windows Explorer.
2. Locate and then open the following folder on your computer: C:\Program Files\Common Files\System\Msmapi\1033
3. Right-click the MSMapi32.dll file, and then click Rename.
Note The file (Msmapi32.dll) that you are renaming differs from the file (Mapi32.dll) that is mentioned in the error message.
4. Type Msmapi32.old, and then press ENTER to rename the file.
5. Start Outlook 2003.
4. Type Msmapi32.old, and then press ENTER to rename the file.
5. Start Outlook 2003.
After following these simple steps my outlook became functional again and i was happy. To read more on the error, and details provided on the support page, click here.
Paintings too good to be Pictures (part 2)
These are a series of paintings which i found on the internet that were so real; look at the detail which the artists have incorporated in each of these pictures. They seem so real life like. Don't forget to click and see the image when enlarged. (part 2)
Paintings too good to be Pictures (part 1)
Paintings too good to be Pictures (part 1)Paintings too good to be Pictures (part 1)
These are a series of paintings which i found on the internet that were so real; look at the detail which the artists have incorporated in each of these paintings. They seem so real life like. Don't forget to click and see the image when enlarged. (part 1)
Paintings to good to be Pictures (part 2)
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Outlook 2003 showing the statement "verify that you have access to this directory" and its solution!
I started with a problem in my outlook (2003), the IMAP folder inbox wouldn't become the default folder. It took me sometime just to figure how to make the IMAP folder the default one and for your help, i have again put the link of the article here.
Few days later, i had a problem in outlook in which the default signature couldn't be applied to any of my messages and whenever i tried to make any change in the settings, outlook would freeze and restart. Getting annoyed with the situation, i tried to repair office (2003) but to no avail. Then i asked the system admin to have a look and see if he could do something. He tried the system restore and all other stuff including the deletion of registry files. This other stuff became too big for my system to chew especially that registry thing. It (laptop) decided not to work and always pop up the windows installer. So bugged with the situation, i tried to uninstall the stupid office suite. However, windows which is built not to leave you until death, didn't even allow me to uninstall or reinstall and gave the stupid message, "verify that you have access to this directory" or something which meant like the statement mentioned earlier. Annoyed with the situation, i thought that its time to backup all the information, reformat the system and get everything in place and thereafter install the Windows 7 RC and have some fun on my laptop. Luckily, i happened to find an article on CNET which suggested Revo uninstaller to do the job (article here). My old friend Revo which i had on my system long back and about which i had forgotten was brought back into my memory. Then i did the whole uninstallation as per the suggestion in the article and there i was with no windows installer bugging me. Ultimately Revo turned out to be the MAN built for this kind of a job. I plan to have it on my system, i recommend the users of this article to do the same to help them getting frustrated from these kind of situations. :)
Few days later, i had a problem in outlook in which the default signature couldn't be applied to any of my messages and whenever i tried to make any change in the settings, outlook would freeze and restart. Getting annoyed with the situation, i tried to repair office (2003) but to no avail. Then i asked the system admin to have a look and see if he could do something. He tried the system restore and all other stuff including the deletion of registry files. This other stuff became too big for my system to chew especially that registry thing. It (laptop) decided not to work and always pop up the windows installer. So bugged with the situation, i tried to uninstall the stupid office suite. However, windows which is built not to leave you until death, didn't even allow me to uninstall or reinstall and gave the stupid message, "verify that you have access to this directory" or something which meant like the statement mentioned earlier. Annoyed with the situation, i thought that its time to backup all the information, reformat the system and get everything in place and thereafter install the Windows 7 RC and have some fun on my laptop. Luckily, i happened to find an article on CNET which suggested Revo uninstaller to do the job (article here). My old friend Revo which i had on my system long back and about which i had forgotten was brought back into my memory. Then i did the whole uninstallation as per the suggestion in the article and there i was with no windows installer bugging me. Ultimately Revo turned out to be the MAN built for this kind of a job. I plan to have it on my system, i recommend the users of this article to do the same to help them getting frustrated from these kind of situations. :)
Theory of Intelligence
A very interesting theory of intelligence, as read by me in one of the mails forwarded to me by one of my friend:
"Well you see, fresto, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, fresto, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
"Well you see, fresto, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, fresto, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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