Friday, July 23, 2010

God loves the way you are!!!

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.          

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she  asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to  live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded,angry lady "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?" 


(You'll love this)                 

God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

Motive of the story:  God loves you the way you are!!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Rajinikanth getting kicked, Unprobable!!!

1. Rajinikanth makes onions cry.
2. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
3. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
4. Rajinikanth can build a snowman... out of rain.
5. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
6. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
7. When Rajinikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,.. he turns the dark off.
8. When Rajinikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.
9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajinikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
10. The last digit of pi is Rajinikanth. He is the end of all things.
11. Rajinikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
12. Bullets dodge Rajinikanth.
13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajinikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
14. Rajinikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanth.
15. If you spell Rajinikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajinikanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
16. Rajinikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
17. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
18. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
19. Rajinikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
20. Rajinikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajinikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
22. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
23. Rajinikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
24. Rajinikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.
25. Rajinikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajinikanth.
28. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajinikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
29. Rajinikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
30. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajinikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
31. The square root of Rajinikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajinikanth, the result is death.
32. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajinikanth takes this as a personal insult.
33. Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet with Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity – twice
35. When Rajinikanth does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he's pushing earth down
36. Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
37. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
38. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile
39. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door
40. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
41. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
42. If you google search "Rajinikanth getting kicked" your search will generate 0 results. It just doesn't happen.
43. It takes Rajinikanth 20 mins to watch 60 minutes
44. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
45. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajinikanth lives in Chennai
46. Rajinikanth once age an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
47. The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajinikanth are his films.
48. Rajinikanth every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
49. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth there is no other way.

For more jokes, click here.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Further to women who think!!!

An old man and woman were married for many years and they grew to hate each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared.. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?

The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.'

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Top 10 Extraordinary People in the World

1. Kim Ung-Yong: Attended University at age 4, Ph.D at age 15; world’s highest IQ.

This Korean super-genius was born in 1962 and might just be the smartest guy alive today (he’s recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as having the highest IQ of anyone on the planet).

By the age of four he was already able to read in Japanese, Korean, German, and English. At his fifth birthday, he solved complicated differential and integral calculus problems. Later, on Japanese television, he demonstrated his proficiency in Chinese, Spanish, Vietnamese, Tagalog, German, English, Japanese, and Korean. Kim was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records under “Highest IQ”; the book estimated the boy’s score at over 210.

Kim was a guest student of physics at Hanyang University from the age of 3 until he was 6. At the age of 7 he was invited to America by NASA. He finished his university studies, eventually getting a Ph.D. in physics at Colorado State University before he was 15. In 1974, during his university studies, he began his research work at NASA and continued this work until his return to Korea in 1978 where he decided to switch from physics to civil engineering and eventually received a doctorate in that field. Kim was offered the chance to study at the most  prestigious universities in Korea , but instead chose to attend a provincial university.

As of 2007 he also serves as adjunct faculty at Chungbuk National University .

2. Gregory Smith: Nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize at age 12

Born in 1990, Gregory Smith could read at age two and had enrolled in university at 10. But “genius” is only one half of the Greg Smith story. When not voraciously learning, this young man travels the globe as a peace and children’s rights activist. He is the founder of International Youth Advocates, an organization that promotes principles of peace and understanding among young people throughout the world. He has met with Bill Clinton and Mikhail Gorbachev and spoke in front of the UN. For these and other humanitarian and advocacy efforts, Smith has been nominated four times for a Nobel Peace Prize. His latest achievement?

He just got his driver license. 


3. Akrit Jaswal: The Seven Year-Old Surgeon

Akrit Jaswal is a young Indian who has been called “the world’s smartest boy” and it’s easy to see why. His IQ is 146 and is considered the smartest person his age in India —a country of more than a billion people.

Akrit came to public attention when in 2000 he performed his first medical procedure at his family home. He was seven. His patient — a local girl who could not afford a doctor — was eight. Her hand had been burnt in a fire, causing her fingers to close into a tight fist that wouldn’t open. Akrit had no formal medical training and no experience of surgery, yet he managed to free her fingers and she was able to use her hand again.

He focused his phenomenal intelligence on medicine and at the age of twelve he claimed to be on the verge of discovering a cure for cancer. He is now studying for a science degree at Chandigarh College and is the youngest student ever accepted by an Indian University . 


4. Cleopatra Stratan: a 3 year old singer who earns 1000€ per song

Clepotra was born October 6, 2002 in Chisinau , Moldova and is the daughter of Moldovan-Romanian singer, Pavel Stratan. She is the youngest person ever to score commercial success as a singer, with her 2006 album La vârsta de trei ani (”At the age of 3″). She holds the record for being the youngest artist that performed live for two hours in front of a large audience, the highest paid young artist, the youngest artist to receive an MTV award and the youngest artist to score a #1 hit in a country (”Ghita” in Romanian Singles Chart). 


5. Aelita Andre: The 2-year-old artist who showed her paintings in a famous Gallery

The abstract paintings of emerging artist Aelita Andre have people in Australia ’s art world talking. Aelita is two (the works were painted when she was even younger). Aelita got an opportunity to show her paintings when Mark Jamieson, the director of Brunswick Street Gallery in Melbourne ’s Fitzroy, was asked by a photographer whose work he represented to consider the work of another artist.

Jamieson liked what he saw and agreed to include it in a group show.  Jamieson then started to promote the show, printing glossy invitations and placing ads in the magazines Art Almanac and Art Collector, featuring the abstract work. Only then did he discover a crucial fact about the new artist: Aelita Andre is Kalashnikova’s daughter, and was just 22 months old. Jamieson was shocked and embarrassed but decided to proceed with the exhibition anyways.


6. Saul Aaron Kripke: Invited to apply for a teaching post at Harvard while still in high school

A rabbi’s son, Saul Aaron Kripke was born in New York and grew up in Omaha in 1940. By all accounts he was a true prodigy. In the fourth grade he discovered algebra, and by the end of grammar school he had mastered geometry and calculus and taken up philosophy. While still a teenager he wrote a series of papers that eventually transformed the study of modal logic. One of them earned a letter from the math department at Harvard, which hoped he would apply for a job until he wrote back and declined, explaining, “My mother said that I should finish high school and go to college first”. After finishing high school, the college he eventually chose was Harvard.

Kripke was awarded the Schock Prize, philosophy’s equivalent of the Nobel. Nowadays, he is thought to be the world’s greatest living philosopher. 


7. Michael Kevin Kearney: earned his first degree at age 10 and became a reality show Millionaire.

24 year-old Michael Kearney became known as the world’s youngest college graduate at the age of 10. In 2008, Kearney earned $1,000,000 on the television game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Kearny was born in 1984 and is was known for setting several world records and teaching college at the age of 17. He spoke his first words at four months. At the age of six months, he said to his pediatrician "I have a left ear infection” and learned to read at the age of ten months. When Michael was four, he was given diagnostic tests for the Johns Hopkins precocious math program and achieved a perfect score. He finished high school at age 6, enrolled at Santa Rosa Junior College graduating at 10 with an Associate of Science in Geology. He is listed in the Guinness Book as the world’s youngest university graduate at the age of 10, receiving a bachelor’s degree in anthropology.

For a while, he also held the record for the world’s youngest postgraduate. But in 2006, he became worldwide famous after reaching the finals on the Mark Burnett/AOL quiz/puzzle game Gold Rush, and became the first $1 million winner in the online reality game. 


8. Fabiano Luigi Caruana: a chess prodigy who became the youngest Grandmaster at age 14

Fabulous Fabiano is a 16-year-old chess Grandmaster and chess prodigy with dual citizenship of Italy and the United States. On 2007 Caruana became a Grandmaster at the age of 14 years, 11 months, 20 days – the youngest Grandmaster in the history of both Italy and the United States . In the April 2009 FIDE list, he has an Elo rating of 2649, making him the world’s highest ranked player under the age of 18.


9. Willie Mosconi: played professional Billiards at age 6

William Joseph Mosconi, nicknamed “Mr. Pocket Billiards” was a American professional pocket billiards (pool) player from Philadelphia , Pennsylvania . Willie’s father owned a pool hall where he wasn’t allowed to play, but Willie improvised by practicing with small potatoes from his mother’s kitchen and an old broomstick. His father soon realized that his son was a child prodigy began advertising challenge matches, and though Willie had to stand on a box in order to reach the table, he beat experienced players many years his senior. In 1919, an exhibition match was arranged between six-year old Willie and the reigning World Champion, Ralph Greenleaf. The hall was packed, and though Greenleaf won that match, Willie played very well launching his career in professional billiards. In 1924, at the tender age of eleven, Willie was the juvenile straight pool champion and was regularly holding trick shot exhibitions. Between the years of 1941 and 1957, he won the BCA World Championship of pool an unmatched fifteen times. Mosconi pioneered and employed numerous trick shots, set many records, and helped to popularize the game of billiards. He still holds the officially recognized straight pool high run record of 526 consecutive blls.


10. Elaina Smith: youngest agony aunt aged 7 

Her local radio station gave her the job after she rang and offered advice to a woman caller who had been dumped. Elaina’s tip — go bowling with pals and drink a mug of milk — was so good she got a weekly slot and now advises thousands of adult listeners. The littler adviser tackles problems ranging from how to dump boyfriends and how to cope with relationship breakdown to dealing with smelly brothers. When one listener wrote to Elaina asking how to get a man, she replied: “Shake your booty on the dance floor and listen to High School Musical”. Another caller asked how to get her man back, Elaina told her: “He’s not worth the heartache. Life’s too short to be upset with a boy.”

(received via email)

Paintings on Hands – Amazing AT&T advertisement campaign in multiple countries

I stumbled across these amazing set of images which were used by AT&T in its advertisement campaign. See them to believe!!!

(click on the picture to see enlarged view)

IndiaSouth AfricaEgypt China China Dragon AustraliaMorocco Costa RicaRussia Mexico England Japan  JapanItaly CanadaNorwayUnited Kingdom MexicoBrazilParaguay     FranceNetherlands   Bahamas

(received via email)

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